November 16, 2003 Communion Dedication - Baldwin Christian Church

Colossians 3:21 Fathers, provoke not your children to anger, lest they be discouraged.

It's easy to understand how children can become discouraged when their Father...

...dispenses punishment in anger.
...is never pleased. No matter how hard they try, he always points out their faults.
...never shows any affection, whether it be in word or in deed.
...shows favoritism, even if he doesn't realize it.
...doesn't listen to them, making them feel unimportant.
...is overprotective, showing his lack of trust in them.

All these things trample on hope. You don't have to be a Christian to understand how they discourage and dishearten children, but as Christians, there's something deeper in this verse that we need to be concerned with, and we'll get to that after a little bit.

Psychology today tells us to never discourage children, and it tells us to build up their self-confidence and self-esteem. Psychology will eventually learn the end of this doctrine; a crop of very unhappy, unstable adults who can never become satisfied with their level of self-confidence. And as the 2nd law of thermodynamics starts to kick in, as their mental and physical faculties start to fade, this crop of self-confident adults will be forced to tell increasingly greater lies to themselves, or else find another source for their confidence, something that Psychologists will undoubtedly be eager to provide them with. (So you see the circle of dependence?)

The Bible tells us to never discourage children, and it tells us to build up their confidence in God. Fathers, with all the Psychology your kids are exposed to nowadays, you might have to provoke them a little in order to root out the doctrine of self-confidence. Your goal is to raise encouraged, hopeful children; children who would confidently say to God as the Psalmist did:

Psalm 60:11-12 Give us help from trouble: for vain is the help of man. Through God we shall do valiantly: for he it is that shall tread down our enemies.

Children who find their confidence and esteem in God learn at an early age how to endure the many sufferings they encounter as a result of the 2nd law of thermodynamics, among other things. In fact, children with this doctrine can rejoice in suffering because of (Rom 5:3-5) "knowing that tribulation worketh patience; And patience, experience; and experience, hope: And hope maketh not ashamed; because the love of God is shed abroad in our hearts by the Holy Ghost which is given unto us."

This brings me back to the deeper cut in Colossians 3, verse 21. Fathers, when you're trying to bring up your children in the understanding of the Lord, it's important to keep in mind that they can't see Him, but they can see you, and you are their example of what God is like. So this is the hard part: your fatherhood should be patterned after the heavenly Father, that your children might see in you some reflection of Him. Can your kids see that you're happier when you're going fishing than you are when you're going to worship service? Do they see you worry about money and the perishable things of this world, putting more hope in them than in the Lord who provides? Do they see you act one way while you're around the church congregation, and a completely different way when you're at home? Do you tell them how important it is for them to read the Bible, but neglect to read it to them? In the long run, these things will provoke them, trample on their hope, and eventually discourage them.

All of your worldly relationships are affected by the one relationship you have with Jesus Christ. Where do you put your confidence and trust? Your family wants to know.

Psalm 4

1. Hear me when I call, O God of my righteousness: thou hast enlarged me when I was in distress; have mercy upon me, and hear my prayer.
2. O ye sons of men, how long will ye turn my glory into shame? how long will ye love vanity, and seek after leasing? Selah.
3. But know that the Lord hath set apart him that is godly for himself: the Lord will hear when I call unto him.
4. Stand in awe, and sin not: commune with your own heart upon your bed, and be still. Selah.
5. Offer the sacrifices of righteousness, and put your trust in the Lord.
6. There be many that say, Who will shew us any good? Lord, lift thou up the light of thy countenance upon us.
7. Thou hast put gladness in my heart, more than in the time that their corn and their wine increased.
8. I will both lay me down in peace, and sleep: for thou, Lord, only makest me dwell in safety.

(Blessed is the father whose children say this to him.)